Consent

What is consent? 

How is it used in Ecstatic Dance? 

How do we ask for, receive, give, decline requests? 

Why is it important in ecstatic dance specifically? 

“Consent”  is the practice of requesting, identifying, giving and receiving a full yes or no - in this case specifically at ecstatic dance.

Consent is a voluntary agreement to participate in an activity with another person. 

It is an affirmative and consciously made decision that can be withdrawn at any moment. 

In ecstatic dance, this can range from energetically moving around/with someone to engaging in physical touch with someone or multiple persons. 

Consent may be expressed through words and actions, though in ecstatic dance, we dance without words. 

This adds another layer of complexity to consent as we navigate nonverbal cues. 

What a request for consent IS:

● Direct and sustained eye contact 

● Open body language

● Moving towards/into the space of another person 

● Gently offering an arm or body part into someone’s space and waiting for engagement 

● Using two fingers on your hand to symbolize dancing 

What a request for consent is NOT: 

● Touching anyone without eye contact, open body language, or prior knowledge that they are about to be touched

● Continuing to be in someone's space after they have moved away from you 

● Contact without an acknowledgement of both parties (all parties)

● Energetically moving into someone's space (specifically to be near that person and without them having awareness of you being there) 

How to say “no” in ecstatic dance: 

You are welcome and encouraged to end or decline any request for any dance or engagement at any time. Saying no is about taking care of yourself and your needs. It may or may not have anything to do with the other person. 

Ways to do this look like: 

prayer hands, gently moving away from the person, placing a hand on your heart and diverting your eyes, simply closing your eyes, or shaking your head. 

There is no one way to do this. 

Be clear with your body language about your intentions for engagement when you receive a request. 

How to receive a “no” in ecstatic dance: 

When you receive a no from someone, you are encouraged to celebrate that they are respecting themselves and their needs. It may or may not have anything to do with you. And it doesn’t matter either way. When you feel someone moving away, know that it is time to wrap up the interaction. Release contact and acknowledge the interaction. 

This may look like prayer hands, a hand on your heart, a gentle closing of the eyes, or a hug if you are both open to it. 

It’s important to remember that just because you danced with someone last week, the week before, even during the same dance, consent still needs to be present each time you are engaging. 

If your consent has been violated at a dance and you would like assistance from the facilitators in creating a safer space, please fill out this form.